monster

 at my lowest, my most vulnerable, when i needed you the most

you chose to leave

you chose alone

you made that decision

before you came

your hands couldnt hold mine

your words hurt 

- you will need help for that depression again you said...

stings, so many

a cigarette couldnt be shared

you were long gone

no it wasnt a conversation

it was news to be relayed

maybe it was needed to be done

but it could have been done better

package it outside of a streetside coffee shop maybe

somewhere a tear could be shed

where a hug could have smoothened the edges

i couldnt have felt stranger

or more alive than a dried frail branch

that you stepped on and left behind cracked on that dusty road 

and only today I know why and how i feel.

its taken me this long to know i was in pain.

3/01/24