all her toil

there's so much unsaid  so much more to give was just getting started  learning climbing the mountains of the many wrongs looking to fly  then that pebble, that tiny pebble that grew into a rock or was it always a rock... out of nowhere crushed. but also thrown deep into the gorges to be lost forever years taken away 10 years  or is it more... hurtling down not clinging on anymore but there's so much more to give and so much unsaid whisper it into the wind  as I fall can't be gone with this bursting heart

I get smaller and cower in a corner hoping you'll protect me from what you really feel

  my sweet love we musn't force what isn't you've had a lonely night or two, I've been just as hazy too a choice was made to deal with it alone and away and that my sweet love is not what we should've made. if the self or the other repulses it surely isn't what was to be I'm walking away cos you should have more to see...

 we're fragile we dont speak

 they're all hazy the moon, the lilly, the pillow... its been cloudy and its poured down I must delight in this weather summoned it I have but you should go there's a sun waiting for you somewhere

 pull and tear, walk away, it follows kneel down whisper,  make believe  and its here live exist hurt and cry, its there fantasies and laughter, not long its right there.

 this water soaked heart I lug it around my shoulders droop the weight brings tears to my eyes it should be here somewhere the breeze just need to let it feel the breeze forget the burden until it reaches the sun  and the sun... those memories of the bright light where the weight is soaked away  and the thirst for water dies... 15/04/2021

You've had some of her when she was young what if you had more of her when she is old with her wrinkles and folds, creases and diseases Would you find a way to love her look at what you saw Or find something new to believe in  Or would you crinkle and make do Or would you stay away 07/04/2021

There's so much of me that is willing to let go I could be done with this  and then there is the if what if  there's a few years of the way it should be... 31/03/21

Is it love or is this  I'm not letting you  breathe I'm gasping too for your air Will I let you last 31/03/21

do you want to know... You're intense and immense take over my breath and my days and then you're gone like you've never existed and I go seeking you out again like a genie bottle you back  is it the same with everyone  is this what it is like with you too you musn't tell me if it isn't 30/03/2021

We don't talk everyday... theres a few things I've missed out on I havent traced all the lines on your fingers and the count of all the greys... I dont know the colour that you like best  do you know mine We need to talk everyday I also dont want to talk everyday just brush against you every time you pass me but I do want to fight with you every once in a while scream, pull the house down... make a mess of all the plans and then cry myself silly in your arms I also want to talk to you about the bread we forgot to pick up as we make love You can tell me about those colours you like  when I've forgetten about it in a few years you can point them out as I sort my laundry from yours if you dont want to talk